Grieving our Pets

Saying Goodbye to Lola

This fall we said goodbye to our dog Lola. She came into my life when I was twenty five, a Christmas gift from my husband, and she stayed with me all the way into my forties. Through every move, every season of becoming, every shift in identity, she was there. A small constant in the background of my adulthood.

In her final years we watched the slow fading that happens at the end of a life. Movement changed, play disappeared, and pieces of her personality softened. After years in hospice work I recognized the familiar rhythm. The withdrawing. The subtle unspooling. And the weight that caregiving brings. Even for a tiny dog her needs grew, and we found ourselves juggling her declining health while also juggling a life that did not slow down and a world that would not stop.

Caregiving comes with stress and sometimes burnout. It can be profound when caring for a person and I want to honor that difference. But even with a beloved pet, the emotional and physical demands gather quietly in the body.

And when she passed a wave of regret came as it often does. Did I love her well enough at the end. Was I patient enough. As a grief counselor I know regret is almost always part of loss. It reflects how deeply we cared, not how poorly we showed up.

To honor her life we created a small service at home. We placed her in her favorite spot, surrounded her with flowers, lit a candle, played a playlist that held both sweetness and sorrow, and talked to our son about life and death. It felt right to thank her for her loyalty, her gentleness, and the steady love she gave us for so many years.

May her memory be a blessing.

Here are more in-depth, thoughtful rituals with bullet points that feel grounding, soulful, and aligned with your tone.

They are still simple enough for readers to follow but have more richness and presence.

A Ritual for Caregiver Stress

A ritual to support anyone caring for a pet or a person while feeling the weight of responsibility.

Settle into your body

• Sit somewhere quiet with your feet touching the floor.

• Notice where your body feels tired, overextended, or heavy.

• Allow yourself a moment to acknowledge the truth of your effort.

Name what is real

• Say softly

“This is hard. This is real. I am doing my best with what I have.”

• Let your body respond without forcing anything.

• Notice if something loosens, aches, or releases.

Offer yourself gentle care

• Place one hand on your chest or belly.

• Take three slow breaths, longer on the exhale.

• Imagine someone behind you offering steady, quiet support.

• Allow yourself to lean into that imagined presence even briefly.

Release what you can

• Picture the weight you have been carrying as a small stone.

• With each exhale imagine setting that stone down beside you.

• You are not giving up the responsibility, only the heaviness around it.

Close with compassion

• Say

“I am allowed to rest. I am allowed to receive care. I am allowed to be human.”

• Let those words land in your body as truth rather than permission.

A Ritual for Saying Goodbye to a Beloved Pet

A tender goodbye ritual that honors the life, spirit, and presence of an animal who held a place in your family.

Prepare a small sacred space

• Place their bed, blanket, or a favorite object in a quiet corner.

• Add natural elements like flowers, a candle, or a small bowl of water.

• Choose a photo of them if they have already passed.

Invite music and memory

• Play one song that reflects their personality or your relationship with them.

• Let the music set the emotional tone of the space.

Speak memories aloud

• Share one or two specific moments you cherish.

• Examples

“I loved the way you greeted me at the door.”

“I loved how you curled up beside me when I cried.”

• Let the memories be simple and real. Pets live in the small rituals of daily life.

Offer gratitude

• Place your hand on your heart or near their body or photo.

• Say

“Thank you for your life. Thank you for your love. Thank you for choosing us.”

• Take a moment to feel the truth of that gratitude.

Release with love

• Take three slow breaths, imagining sending warmth and safety with each exhale.

• Picture them moving toward a place of peace

open fields

soft light

familiar comfort.

• End with

“You are loved. You are free.”